Second thoughts

With all the controversy surrounding the upper chamber of the Canadian Parliament lately, this headline in today's Toronto Star looked promising:

"SENATOR TO RENOUNCE CANADIAN CITIZENSHIP"

Wow!  Must be Senator Pamela Wallin, the most famous citizen of Wadena, Saskatchewan.  Pam had a lengthy career in the media, first as a TV journalist, then later as host for the Canadian version of "Who wants to be a millionaire?"  Evidently she pondered that question for a moment and decided the answer was "Pamela Wallin", because about a decade ago she left the hard grind of network television and embarked on a remarkable series of public sector boondoggles.

For a few years she was Canada's consul-general (aka chief cocktail party hostess) in New York; then she became Chancellor of the University of Guelph.  But the big score came in January 2009, when she was appointed by PM Stephen Harper to serve in the Canadian Senate.  Enthusiastically travelling between Ottawa, Wadena, Guelph and Toronto, Pam ran up some hefty bills on the taxpayers' account.  Sadly, her accounting standards were a bit slipshod, and she now faces repaying at least $120,000 to the Treasury.  Worse, the file has been handed to the Mounties, which could result in a criminal prosecution for fraud.

Oh, it's not Pam?  Then it must be Senator Mike Duffy, another vertically challenged ex-TV journalist appointed to the Senate by Harper in January 2009.  Mike has also fallen foul of the expense watchdogs to the tune of six figures.  In contrast to Pamela Wallin, he has already paid some of the money back -- or rather, it's been paid back for him, as a favor, by one of Harper's personal staff, who has since had to resign.  We are, of course, assured that the PM himself knew nothing of this remarkable act of charity.

Not Mike either?  Senator Patrick Brazeau must be the man, then -- another of Harper's slate of new appointees from January 2009.  Like Pam and Mike, Patrick has problems keeping track of how he spends public money, but he's also facing a couple of charges of inappropriate sexual behavior.

Not Patrick, you say?  Then it must be Senator Mac Harb, yet another Harper appointee with no math skills. ...

Oh wait, now I get it.  Sadly, it's not a Canadian Senator at all.  The headline refers to Texas Republican senator and Tea Party favorite, Ted Cruz.  Ted has discovered, to his evident embarrassment, that he was actually born in Calgary.  That's easily the most American city in Canada, but Ted needs more than that.  He's reported to be considering a run for the White House, so he's in a big rush to renounce his Canadian citizenship before any Democrat "birther" movement gets going and starts to claim he's ineligible.

I wouldn't be too worried if I were Ted.  Renouncing his Canadian citizenship will only take a few months, and he can be 100% certain that the US Senate will still be there when the process is complete.  The Canadian Senate, maybe not so much.  Having thoroughly poisoned the place by packing it with his innumerate cronies, PM Harper may well campaign to abolish it, on the grounds that it's irremediably corrupt!