Beckham for President!

Even the most passionate Europhile must feel heartsick at the prospect of Tony Blair becoming the first President of the EU.

Tony Blair, the man who alienated most of Europe with his grovelling attitude to the United States and his gung-ho support for the invasion of Iraq.

Tony Blair, the man whose high-profile, high-cost role as a peace envoy in the Middle East has been so ineffective that you can't even call it a failure. In order to fail, you have to try, and there's not much evidence that Blair has done that. (As soon as he landed the job, he swanned off to Barbados for a three-week break. That rather set the tone for the whole pointless enterprise).

Tony Blair, the relentless moneygrubber who is now charging people for the privilege of getting photographed with him -- see previous posting.

The EU Presidency is an almost entirely ceremonial post, so in a sense the vacuous, self-obsessed publicity hound Blair is well qualified. However, if those are the criteria, why not appoint David Beckham? He's well-liked across Europe, his missus would be thrilled -- and he's already got his own palace.